"In fact, the other day while talking to a group of supporters, Joe Biden said that Hillary Clinton might have been a better pick for vice president than him. Well, that's one thing to get the base fired up. Tell them, they picked the wrong person! Yeah! That'll get them fired up!" --Jay Leno
"John McCain, by gosh, did you know this? He was on 'The View' earlier today. Yup. And I thought to myself, well good Lord, hasn't this man endured enough torture?" --David Letterman
"And as you know, they've already come out with a Sarah Palin action figure. And today, the Democrats released a Joe Biden action figure. It talks and talks and talks. You just can't get the thing to shut up." --Jay Leno
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