humor me

"It turns out Governor Palin is a lifelong member of the NRA and a life-time hunter. Another vice president who's a hunter. What could go wrong there?" --Jay Leno

"She also admitted she has smoked marijuana, but she did not enjoy it. Isn't that amazing? Something like 100 million Americans have smoked marijuana, but the only ones who don't seem to enjoy it are the ones running for office. Why is that?" --Jay Leno

"How about the Republican convention? Have you been watching that? Well, here's the roster of speakers tonight: George W. Bush is speaking tonight. Joe Lieberman, speaking tonight. Fred Thompson, speaking tonight. I mean, come on. Cut me a slice of that! Yeah!" --David Letterman