Texas Congressman Snagged in Border Sweep
By: Andy Borowitz *
Embattled Texas congressman Tom DeLay was arrested last night as he attempted to switch identities with an illegal alien at the Texas-Mexico border, immigration officials confirmed today.* Satirist
For Mr. DeLay, who earlier this year stepped down from his leadership position in the House of Representatives and who just this week said he would not seek reelection, this brush with the law was just the latest in a series of stunning setbacks.
According to the official who arrested him, the former House Majority Leader was trying to tempt illegal aliens to switch identities with him in the hopes that he could start over with a new, simpler life as a Mexican laborer.
"Apparently, though, there were no takers," the official said.
One illegal alien who spoke on condition of anonymity said that Rep. DeLay offered him all of his credentials and even his key to the House men's room, but that ultimately his offer was not attractive.
"I would rather take my chances being an illegal alien in America than being Tom DeLay," he said. "At least as an illegal alien I have a chance of being legalized - there's no way that the things Tom DeLay has done will ever be considered legal."
The illegal alien noted another downside of switching identities with Tom Delay: "I would have to admit that I knew Jack Abramoff."
[Graphic: Alicia Morgan]